Before I quit my job, moved to Tulsa and decided to take my business full-time; God kept reminding me to live uncomfortably, to not get caught up in the day-to-day and to not seek and cling to what “feels right” (easier said than done).
Once that thought became clear to me, I started noticing when, where and how I would seek comfort. It was constant, and now that I’m here in Tulsa, it’s become even more apparent. It can be in the small things and big things. For example, I hate post offices (small thing). They make me anxious and uncomfortable, but once I go there and get it over with, I’m completely fine and wonder why it was such a big deal in the first place. Moreover, I probably won’t go to any other post office after that – even if it’s closer to home – because I got the “newness” over with, and I automatically feel that much more comfortable going there and knowing what to expect. Maybe I fear the unknown? Or dread making a mistake?
I remember in high school I would unknowingly attach to a certain friend or friend group because I felt the most at-ease and satisfied with myself when I was around them.
Or how about when I have company coming over to the house and the “fear” of being a perfect host starts creeping in… You with me on that one?
And now, God has placed a yearning desire on my heart to pursue my business, which is what I’ve wanted to do for a long time now, and here I am; doubting, and questioning – “Maybe an 8-5 would be best”, “I don’t know what I’m doing”, “What if I literally make no money?” It’s dumb. I catch myself identifying with and being contented with things of this world. These emotions definitely are not extreme in any way, I just want to be mindful of them and work through the discomfort of the unknown. I’m thankful God has shown me the reason that I feel this way is because it’s uncomfortable. That’s it. Now that I recognize the emotion, it’s easier to kick it in the face and do what I’m called to do. There’s nothing like the feeling of overcoming something that your mind is trying to talk you out of (even exercise).
One of my good friends, Jordan Woodring, said something one time that has stuck with me ever since. She said, “Every time I am joyful, I ask myself, “Where did this joy come from? Am I giving my joy and praise to God?” Every time I am angry, I ask myself, “Why am I so upset right now? Where is my anger coming from?” When I think of eternity, and then look at the situation I’m in, I question if it’s really that big of deal.” You see, when we take a moment to stop and ask ourselves where our emotions are coming from, we are giving ourselves time to process and access the root of the issue, and the reason for our response.
Like I said, discomfort comes in small and large waves. And each and every person deals with it differently.
2 Corinthians 1:3 remind us,
“All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort.”
And again in Psalm 23:4,
“Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.”
I believe if God wants you to grow, he makes you uncomfortable. After all, great things never came from comfort zones.
-ash
